Is This The End?
I Should´ve Let You In, But I Let You Down.
*Later on*
“I still don’t know how you dealt with Chuck.” I commented as we walked down the street. He lifted his arm and let it fall gently over my arms.
“Be careful, bass player.” I giggled, he smiled blushing.
“Is it too worn out to apologize again for last night?” I chuckled.
“You’re already excused.”
“Thanks… I really am not like that normally.” I laughed.
We kept walking until we got to the main park in New York. He stretched his arms towards a bench for me to take a seat, I did so, he sat after me.
I smiled at him and he caught me in with his big, beautiful, blue eyes. He leaned closer to my face, I didn’t even dare to move; he came closer and closer, his pretty blue eyes pierced mine. Next thing I knew, his lips were leaving traces on mine, the traces of passion and a noble feeling that I wouldn’t call love, but something quite undefined. Seconds later I had to stop the kiss, I just felt it wasn’t right. Mike looked questioningly at me as soon as we were away from each other. I practically stared back at him with the same expression, I thought this was what I wanted, but apparently it was not…
“I… I’m sorry. Mike, I can’t.” I looked away with shame.
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“We both did…” I sighed.
“I’m going away tomorrow… and… I’m sorry this couldn’t work out for you…” he looked at me, but I kept evading his hurt stare, “It’s a shame, really.” He sighed.
“You think it could’ve worked for you?” I asked, wanting to get rid of all the weight on me.
“It was working just right for me…” Mike grimaced and stared into space.
His cute, sad face made me feel horrible; I never meant to hurt him, I just wanted to be friends, I mean, he’s always been handsome to my eyes… but I never thought I’d ever be in this actual situation. I hated myself, I hated me so much for hurting him; I wished I could just go with him, I wished that kiss wouldn’t have made me feel uncomfortable, I even wished David would go away, leave my mind for once, but it was no use, I couldn’t, and probably I never would be able to do such thing. My eyes moistened, I wasn’t even sure of the why of this, I debated with myself, I didn’t know whether I was sad, or f I was so angry I had to cry it out.
A tear trickled down my cheek, making its way to the floor, where it would eventually disappear and become just one more tear cried in the world. I waited… just one, was it all I had left inside of me? One tear.?
I looked up at Mike, and saw him still staring, staring into nowhere, just out-zoned; his eyes were getting watery, but not enough for a tear to fall and join mine. I lifted my hand, extended it to Mike’s cheek; it trembled on its way, but I guess it felt much secure when it was where it had to be, for it stopped shaking when I touched Mike’s smoothly shaved cheek and chin.
His tortured eyes looked at me, but still with that empty soulless stare. Is he really that serious about this? My mind asked itself, but just answered with another question, Am I that serious about this?
“I’m sorry, Mike…” I whispered with a husky voice, it sounded as if I hadn’t spoken in years.
“I am too… I guess one cant always get what one needs.” I could practically hear the cracking sound my heart made when he said that.
“Mike…”
“Shh, no, it’s ok. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, I just… I just thought this would really happen, I was almost sure…” He grimaced again, but it suddenly changed to a weak sympathy smile “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. ´Sides it’s not your fault.” He said as he kept smiling. “Why don’t we go back to the hotel and make a rack for Tré, he always does that to me when I’m hung-over, would you help me with some payback?” He said, now with a completely convincing smirk on his lips. I felt better, but not quite as much as I wish I felt.
I giggled and said, “sure.” We both stood up, and started back towards the hotel.
“I shouldn’t have drunk that much yesterday…” I stared up at him, and he stared back, then we started laughing. He put his arm about me once more, “just like friends, if you don’t mind…” He said with shifty eyes, I laughed.
“Nah, it’s ok.” He smiled and started with some Tré joke. Everything was back to… normal, you could say, like nothing had happened back at the park, and I liked that. More than half of the weight was now off my shoulders.
*Chuck´s P.O.V.*
I sat on the couch, tapping my feet on the floor, making an empty sound that made me go crazy with exasperation, but I still kept doing it; I was going mad about her and Mike Dirnt being out, alone. I couldn’t hold myself for much longer, my feet were uncontrollable, it’s something like a nervous tic, I guess.
The TV was on, but I wasn’t really watching it, I was more like staring at it, at the set, not at what was going on, I didn’t even know what I was ´watching´, I just knew the TV was in front of me and that it was on.
I thought of going out to take a walk and relax, but I discarded the idea when I heard her laughter down the hall. Are they already here, it’s early… did he fuck it up? Well, he couldn’t have, she’s laughing. I thought they’d be out the whole day, and that I would have killed somebody by then…
I stood up, remained on my feet for a while then run-walked to the door. I stood there, right in front of it, just waiting for her to get here. A minute passed, then they were 3 minutes, but she never got here. Maybe she went for their room… I nodded to myself, turned the knob, peeked out and saw no one in the hall. I walked towards Mike, Tre, and Billie´s room… How did they fit in one only room of two beds…? Don’t ask me.
New update =)
Hope you like it, guys. Would you leave a comment, please? n.n
Thanks for reading, have a nice day. =]
“I still don’t know how you dealt with Chuck.” I commented as we walked down the street. He lifted his arm and let it fall gently over my arms.
“Be careful, bass player.” I giggled, he smiled blushing.
“Is it too worn out to apologize again for last night?” I chuckled.
“You’re already excused.”
“Thanks… I really am not like that normally.” I laughed.
We kept walking until we got to the main park in New York. He stretched his arms towards a bench for me to take a seat, I did so, he sat after me.
I smiled at him and he caught me in with his big, beautiful, blue eyes. He leaned closer to my face, I didn’t even dare to move; he came closer and closer, his pretty blue eyes pierced mine. Next thing I knew, his lips were leaving traces on mine, the traces of passion and a noble feeling that I wouldn’t call love, but something quite undefined. Seconds later I had to stop the kiss, I just felt it wasn’t right. Mike looked questioningly at me as soon as we were away from each other. I practically stared back at him with the same expression, I thought this was what I wanted, but apparently it was not…
“I… I’m sorry. Mike, I can’t.” I looked away with shame.
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“We both did…” I sighed.
“I’m going away tomorrow… and… I’m sorry this couldn’t work out for you…” he looked at me, but I kept evading his hurt stare, “It’s a shame, really.” He sighed.
“You think it could’ve worked for you?” I asked, wanting to get rid of all the weight on me.
“It was working just right for me…” Mike grimaced and stared into space.
His cute, sad face made me feel horrible; I never meant to hurt him, I just wanted to be friends, I mean, he’s always been handsome to my eyes… but I never thought I’d ever be in this actual situation. I hated myself, I hated me so much for hurting him; I wished I could just go with him, I wished that kiss wouldn’t have made me feel uncomfortable, I even wished David would go away, leave my mind for once, but it was no use, I couldn’t, and probably I never would be able to do such thing. My eyes moistened, I wasn’t even sure of the why of this, I debated with myself, I didn’t know whether I was sad, or f I was so angry I had to cry it out.
A tear trickled down my cheek, making its way to the floor, where it would eventually disappear and become just one more tear cried in the world. I waited… just one, was it all I had left inside of me? One tear.?
I looked up at Mike, and saw him still staring, staring into nowhere, just out-zoned; his eyes were getting watery, but not enough for a tear to fall and join mine. I lifted my hand, extended it to Mike’s cheek; it trembled on its way, but I guess it felt much secure when it was where it had to be, for it stopped shaking when I touched Mike’s smoothly shaved cheek and chin.
His tortured eyes looked at me, but still with that empty soulless stare. Is he really that serious about this? My mind asked itself, but just answered with another question, Am I that serious about this?
“I’m sorry, Mike…” I whispered with a husky voice, it sounded as if I hadn’t spoken in years.
“I am too… I guess one cant always get what one needs.” I could practically hear the cracking sound my heart made when he said that.
“Mike…”
“Shh, no, it’s ok. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, I just… I just thought this would really happen, I was almost sure…” He grimaced again, but it suddenly changed to a weak sympathy smile “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. ´Sides it’s not your fault.” He said as he kept smiling. “Why don’t we go back to the hotel and make a rack for Tré, he always does that to me when I’m hung-over, would you help me with some payback?” He said, now with a completely convincing smirk on his lips. I felt better, but not quite as much as I wish I felt.
I giggled and said, “sure.” We both stood up, and started back towards the hotel.
“I shouldn’t have drunk that much yesterday…” I stared up at him, and he stared back, then we started laughing. He put his arm about me once more, “just like friends, if you don’t mind…” He said with shifty eyes, I laughed.
“Nah, it’s ok.” He smiled and started with some Tré joke. Everything was back to… normal, you could say, like nothing had happened back at the park, and I liked that. More than half of the weight was now off my shoulders.
*Chuck´s P.O.V.*
I sat on the couch, tapping my feet on the floor, making an empty sound that made me go crazy with exasperation, but I still kept doing it; I was going mad about her and Mike Dirnt being out, alone. I couldn’t hold myself for much longer, my feet were uncontrollable, it’s something like a nervous tic, I guess.
The TV was on, but I wasn’t really watching it, I was more like staring at it, at the set, not at what was going on, I didn’t even know what I was ´watching´, I just knew the TV was in front of me and that it was on.
I thought of going out to take a walk and relax, but I discarded the idea when I heard her laughter down the hall. Are they already here, it’s early… did he fuck it up? Well, he couldn’t have, she’s laughing. I thought they’d be out the whole day, and that I would have killed somebody by then…
I stood up, remained on my feet for a while then run-walked to the door. I stood there, right in front of it, just waiting for her to get here. A minute passed, then they were 3 minutes, but she never got here. Maybe she went for their room… I nodded to myself, turned the knob, peeked out and saw no one in the hall. I walked towards Mike, Tre, and Billie´s room… How did they fit in one only room of two beds…? Don’t ask me.
New update =)
Hope you like it, guys. Would you leave a comment, please? n.n
Thanks for reading, have a nice day. =]