I Wont See You Tonight
I Wont See You Tonight Part 1
Brians P.O.V
Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight
I've had enough. I was leaving. Away from this life forever. Start a new one. Sure it would take a while to get used to but my decision was final. Nothing could stop me. No one could hold me back from doing this. I was getting away from my old life. I hated it. My only regret, I had to leave him. The one person that had stood by me all my life. The one that had cared for me and loved me for who I was. As much as I missed him, I had to do this. I was doing this for me. Sounds selfish doesn't it?? Well it isn't. If you were living my life you would have run away ages ago.
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and loved
I had been with Zacky all my life. We had grown up together, playing in the park as kids. Getting drunk as teenagers. Making the band and finally getting together. I loved him so much and I never wanted it to end like this. It couldn't, but it had too. It was never ever his fault. Everyone around me was always there for me, I loved them so much for it. But it was never enough. I couldn't help the way I was. I decided I was going as far away as possible. Where they wouldn't find me. I don't want them to find me though. I don't know how long I was going for. Forever?
Building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me, you're not the one to place the blame
As bottles called my name, I won't see you tonight
I never meant to hurt anyone. Especially not my baby. My past caught up with me. I had come face to face with my worst nightmare, my dad. He used to beat me until I was unconscious. I hit the alcohol, got completely wasted. I can remember Zacky walking in the house, he was trying to get me to bed because in the state I was in, I couldn't even walk. I didn't want to. I fought back. I slapped him across the face. I'd never seen his face so full of hurt before. This is what it had come to. I had hurt him because of me being stupid. I had to get away. One, I never wanted to face Zacky again, not after I hurt him. In a way I was scared I would do it again. Two, my dad would somehow get to me by using him. That petrified me even more than me hurting him. So I had to get away.
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me or cry while I'm away
I left a note on the table. Explaining why I was leaving. I had chose to leave on the day Zacky was visiting his sister so he didn't see me. The last thing I wanted to see was his sad face wondering what he had done to drive me away.
Dear Zacky,
I've left because ever since I slapped you, I never ever want to hurt you again. Thats why I'm leaving. I can't trust myself to be around you anymore. I don't want to hurt the person I love the most. I love you so much and you made my life worth living. And I just blew that straight out the window by hurting you. Believe me I wanted to inflict loads of pain on myself for what I did to you. I didn't though. Instead I chose the cowards way out by running away. I don't know if I'll ever come back. And if I did, the first person I would want to see is you. I'm going to miss waking up beside your cute face. The way you giggle whenever something unfunny seems funny to you.
So far away, I'm gone. Please don't follow me tonight.
And while I'm gone, everything, it will be alright.
Promise me one thing, never forget me and I'll never forget you.
Love Bri.
xxx
Writing that brought tears to my eyes as I remember all the happy times me and Zacky had. I can't even imagine what Zacky would feel like as he read this. I didn't want to think about it really. It upset me greatly. But I still had to leave. I screwed up one too many times.
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
My heart got ripped out when I left you.
Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight
I've had enough. I was leaving. Away from this life forever. Start a new one. Sure it would take a while to get used to but my decision was final. Nothing could stop me. No one could hold me back from doing this. I was getting away from my old life. I hated it. My only regret, I had to leave him. The one person that had stood by me all my life. The one that had cared for me and loved me for who I was. As much as I missed him, I had to do this. I was doing this for me. Sounds selfish doesn't it?? Well it isn't. If you were living my life you would have run away ages ago.
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and loved
I had been with Zacky all my life. We had grown up together, playing in the park as kids. Getting drunk as teenagers. Making the band and finally getting together. I loved him so much and I never wanted it to end like this. It couldn't, but it had too. It was never ever his fault. Everyone around me was always there for me, I loved them so much for it. But it was never enough. I couldn't help the way I was. I decided I was going as far away as possible. Where they wouldn't find me. I don't want them to find me though. I don't know how long I was going for. Forever?
Building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me, you're not the one to place the blame
As bottles called my name, I won't see you tonight
I never meant to hurt anyone. Especially not my baby. My past caught up with me. I had come face to face with my worst nightmare, my dad. He used to beat me until I was unconscious. I hit the alcohol, got completely wasted. I can remember Zacky walking in the house, he was trying to get me to bed because in the state I was in, I couldn't even walk. I didn't want to. I fought back. I slapped him across the face. I'd never seen his face so full of hurt before. This is what it had come to. I had hurt him because of me being stupid. I had to get away. One, I never wanted to face Zacky again, not after I hurt him. In a way I was scared I would do it again. Two, my dad would somehow get to me by using him. That petrified me even more than me hurting him. So I had to get away.
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me or cry while I'm away
I left a note on the table. Explaining why I was leaving. I had chose to leave on the day Zacky was visiting his sister so he didn't see me. The last thing I wanted to see was his sad face wondering what he had done to drive me away.
Dear Zacky,
I've left because ever since I slapped you, I never ever want to hurt you again. Thats why I'm leaving. I can't trust myself to be around you anymore. I don't want to hurt the person I love the most. I love you so much and you made my life worth living. And I just blew that straight out the window by hurting you. Believe me I wanted to inflict loads of pain on myself for what I did to you. I didn't though. Instead I chose the cowards way out by running away. I don't know if I'll ever come back. And if I did, the first person I would want to see is you. I'm going to miss waking up beside your cute face. The way you giggle whenever something unfunny seems funny to you.
So far away, I'm gone. Please don't follow me tonight.
And while I'm gone, everything, it will be alright.
Promise me one thing, never forget me and I'll never forget you.
Love Bri.
xxx
Writing that brought tears to my eyes as I remember all the happy times me and Zacky had. I can't even imagine what Zacky would feel like as he read this. I didn't want to think about it really. It upset me greatly. But I still had to leave. I screwed up one too many times.
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
My heart got ripped out when I left you.