You Make Me Feel So Alive
One
Have you ever felt like something was missing from your life. Like a part of you was missing and you couldn't find the piece that fit. It made you wake from your dreams feeling dreadful as you know that you'll search throughout the day and not find what fits. Then, you'll lie awake at night, wishing you could return to those dreams that you can never remember when you awake. Those dreams that bring you so much more happiness than your own life. The dreams where you have those missing pieces fit into the emptiness. But you never do, because you want to find those missing pieces, so that you can finally live them and not dream of them any longer.
I dropped my pen, and laid my journal down looking out to the horizon to watch the sun rise up to awaken everyone from their sleep. I look down at what I had wrote and sighed, picking up the pen, knowing my thoughts weren't over yet. So, I continued writing a little bit more before I had to get ready for school.
Those missing pieces make you feel like you haven't found yourself. It feels like those missing pieces are somehow apart of you. Your life, Your personality. Everything that you live for. Or at least, that's how I feel.
I ran my tongue over my lip piercing on the left side of my lip and bit down on the bar inside of my mouth gently. I hated this feeling inside of me. I felt myself searching for something, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. My alarm sounded from my bed stand and rang annoyingly loud and obnoxiously to wake me up to get ready. I shook my head, no longer wanting to have these thoughts, and rose up from my chair on the balcony.
Giving one last glance at the sunrise, I walked into my room and into my bathroom, grabbing my toothbrush and applying the toothpaste onto it, while staring into the mirror at my reflection. I stared into the two orbs of green that held no emotion. I could see in my eyes, even then, searching something. "What am I trying to find?" I murmured to myself, watching my eyes try to decipher my facial expression. I seemed so lost. I looked so incomplete. I quickly brushed my teeth and ran back into my room.
I pulled on my black skinny jeans after I pulled on my boy shorts. I grabbed my white bra and snapped it on. I then pulled my neon colored green tee-shirt over my head that had a pair of headphones linked to a heart in a lighter yellow green color. I looked underneath my bed, trying to find my knee length converse, but they appeared to be missing. I sighed, knowing they were in my disorganized closet. I opened the door to my closet, and threw myself in there searching for them. My hands grasp a hold of one after I dug through a pile of clothes on the floor. I got up and headed towards my bed, throwing myself backwards with my socks in hand.
I pulled on my socks and then followed it with my converse after sitting up. Then, I hopped up and went back into the bathroom. I started to apply my make-up. After I got the foundation on, I applied the heavy eyeliner on, with my mascara. Then, I applied a bright yellow eyeshadow with a faint touch of blush. I smiled in satisfaction and ran out downstairs after grabbing the green ribbon from my bed post, my black backpack, and my journal.
I heard the teacher start into his big lecture about how he wants a certain amount of words in the essay after the presentation and a certain amount of time on the power point. I just continued scribbling thoughts that came into my mind endlessly into my journal. I heard fits of giggles erupt around me but I pretended to ignore as I continued to write.
"Ms. Cummins, I hope those are notes on your project." the teacher said, slapping his ruler stick down on top of my notebook.
I looked up at him thinking, and if they're not, what are you going to do about it? But instead as he moved the ruler, I reached out and quickly closed my notebook. I swiped it off the desk before he could take it and tucked it into my backpack laying on the floor beside of me. "They were ideas on the project."
"Good, then tell me Ms. Cummins, what is the project."
"An essay and a power point presentation."
"Over what Ms. Cummins?"
There he had me. I didn't pay that much attention. I bit my bar in my lip nervously as the bell rang for lunch. Saved by the bell, I thought. I smiled a big grin and grabbed my bag while running out the door. I calmly walked after being a safe distance from my history class. I headed downstairs and kept my head down and got in line.
I got my tray after typing in my number and then I moved forward and took my seat at the table that was always empty. I immediately pulled out my iPod and pressed play, drowning out the loud chatter around me. I ate while watching the scenery around me, my eyes searching the line. I wasn't looking for anything particular and I knew that. I couldn't help but notice the new girl. I stared at her, not understanding why I was so focused on just her.
She looked up and met my eyes and that's when I quickly dropped my eyes and looked down at my tray of disgusting food. I moved my food around with the spork and peeked up back at her. She seemed vaguely familiar. It was as if seen her from somewhere before. I couldn't put my finger on it but before I could think about it anymore she shot me a dirty look and started to approach my table.
She held her tray in one hand and pointed at me with the other. "What is your problem." I dropped my spork and gave her a startled look. She only narrowed her eyes at me and lowered her hand and placed it on her hip. "Well?" she inquired.
I felt my ears heat up once I noticed that the whole lunch room got really quiet. I swallowed and cleared my throat. "Nothing."
"Then quit staring."
I didn't reply back, instead I just reached down to grab my journal back out. Then, the lunch room resumed its loudness. Quite frankly, I wasn't embarrassed, I just hated being the center of attention. Obviously, she didn't mind. I started to write before I heard her cough. I looked up from writing and raised my eyebrow at her. "What?"
She looked around and then back at me. I did the same and realized my table was the only one available for her to sit down at. I gestured at the seat furthest away from and then resumed writing. I really preferred if people stayed away. Not like I had to tell anyone. They choose to keep their distance from me. But I didn't mind. I liked it that way.
She didn't talk much, which I didn't mind. I was perfectly fine just as long as she didn't try to start small talk. I sighed and closed my book and returned it to it's place in my bag. I got up, slinging my bag over my shoulder and threw my tray away as I walked out of the room and headed up to the third floor. I sat on the steps of the landing of it and pulled my iPod from my pocket, switching it to a different song, waiting for the bell to ring to allow me to go to my next class, which was writing.
Eh, this was a sucky slow chapter. I didn't know what to write. So, that's what I came up with.
Skai,
your turn,
I'm sure you can do a lot better than what I did.
xoxoxo
Kayla
I dropped my pen, and laid my journal down looking out to the horizon to watch the sun rise up to awaken everyone from their sleep. I look down at what I had wrote and sighed, picking up the pen, knowing my thoughts weren't over yet. So, I continued writing a little bit more before I had to get ready for school.
Those missing pieces make you feel like you haven't found yourself. It feels like those missing pieces are somehow apart of you. Your life, Your personality. Everything that you live for. Or at least, that's how I feel.
I ran my tongue over my lip piercing on the left side of my lip and bit down on the bar inside of my mouth gently. I hated this feeling inside of me. I felt myself searching for something, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. My alarm sounded from my bed stand and rang annoyingly loud and obnoxiously to wake me up to get ready. I shook my head, no longer wanting to have these thoughts, and rose up from my chair on the balcony.
Giving one last glance at the sunrise, I walked into my room and into my bathroom, grabbing my toothbrush and applying the toothpaste onto it, while staring into the mirror at my reflection. I stared into the two orbs of green that held no emotion. I could see in my eyes, even then, searching something. "What am I trying to find?" I murmured to myself, watching my eyes try to decipher my facial expression. I seemed so lost. I looked so incomplete. I quickly brushed my teeth and ran back into my room.
I pulled on my black skinny jeans after I pulled on my boy shorts. I grabbed my white bra and snapped it on. I then pulled my neon colored green tee-shirt over my head that had a pair of headphones linked to a heart in a lighter yellow green color. I looked underneath my bed, trying to find my knee length converse, but they appeared to be missing. I sighed, knowing they were in my disorganized closet. I opened the door to my closet, and threw myself in there searching for them. My hands grasp a hold of one after I dug through a pile of clothes on the floor. I got up and headed towards my bed, throwing myself backwards with my socks in hand.
I pulled on my socks and then followed it with my converse after sitting up. Then, I hopped up and went back into the bathroom. I started to apply my make-up. After I got the foundation on, I applied the heavy eyeliner on, with my mascara. Then, I applied a bright yellow eyeshadow with a faint touch of blush. I smiled in satisfaction and ran out downstairs after grabbing the green ribbon from my bed post, my black backpack, and my journal.
I heard the teacher start into his big lecture about how he wants a certain amount of words in the essay after the presentation and a certain amount of time on the power point. I just continued scribbling thoughts that came into my mind endlessly into my journal. I heard fits of giggles erupt around me but I pretended to ignore as I continued to write.
"Ms. Cummins, I hope those are notes on your project." the teacher said, slapping his ruler stick down on top of my notebook.
I looked up at him thinking, and if they're not, what are you going to do about it? But instead as he moved the ruler, I reached out and quickly closed my notebook. I swiped it off the desk before he could take it and tucked it into my backpack laying on the floor beside of me. "They were ideas on the project."
"Good, then tell me Ms. Cummins, what is the project."
"An essay and a power point presentation."
"Over what Ms. Cummins?"
There he had me. I didn't pay that much attention. I bit my bar in my lip nervously as the bell rang for lunch. Saved by the bell, I thought. I smiled a big grin and grabbed my bag while running out the door. I calmly walked after being a safe distance from my history class. I headed downstairs and kept my head down and got in line.
I got my tray after typing in my number and then I moved forward and took my seat at the table that was always empty. I immediately pulled out my iPod and pressed play, drowning out the loud chatter around me. I ate while watching the scenery around me, my eyes searching the line. I wasn't looking for anything particular and I knew that. I couldn't help but notice the new girl. I stared at her, not understanding why I was so focused on just her.
She looked up and met my eyes and that's when I quickly dropped my eyes and looked down at my tray of disgusting food. I moved my food around with the spork and peeked up back at her. She seemed vaguely familiar. It was as if seen her from somewhere before. I couldn't put my finger on it but before I could think about it anymore she shot me a dirty look and started to approach my table.
She held her tray in one hand and pointed at me with the other. "What is your problem." I dropped my spork and gave her a startled look. She only narrowed her eyes at me and lowered her hand and placed it on her hip. "Well?" she inquired.
I felt my ears heat up once I noticed that the whole lunch room got really quiet. I swallowed and cleared my throat. "Nothing."
"Then quit staring."
I didn't reply back, instead I just reached down to grab my journal back out. Then, the lunch room resumed its loudness. Quite frankly, I wasn't embarrassed, I just hated being the center of attention. Obviously, she didn't mind. I started to write before I heard her cough. I looked up from writing and raised my eyebrow at her. "What?"
She looked around and then back at me. I did the same and realized my table was the only one available for her to sit down at. I gestured at the seat furthest away from and then resumed writing. I really preferred if people stayed away. Not like I had to tell anyone. They choose to keep their distance from me. But I didn't mind. I liked it that way.
She didn't talk much, which I didn't mind. I was perfectly fine just as long as she didn't try to start small talk. I sighed and closed my book and returned it to it's place in my bag. I got up, slinging my bag over my shoulder and threw my tray away as I walked out of the room and headed up to the third floor. I sat on the steps of the landing of it and pulled my iPod from my pocket, switching it to a different song, waiting for the bell to ring to allow me to go to my next class, which was writing.
Eh, this was a sucky slow chapter. I didn't know what to write. So, that's what I came up with.
Skai,
your turn,
I'm sure you can do a lot better than what I did.
xoxoxo
Kayla