The Freedom To Obey

THREE
Things had been kind of strange here lately. I'd come in the morning, cook and clean and then in the afternoon hangout a bit with Jake, but it was different. He was really moody and it seemed like he was silently somewhere else.
Every time I asked him what was wrong he gave me this lost look, so I guess I had to wait for him to tell me.
One night, I found him standing underneath this giant Oak tree right by the back of the house. I met him over there and it was so strange. Even from the distance I saw him at, his silhouette was still intact and he looked so serene in the night.
"Hey..." I said as I approached him.
"Hello Anne." he turned around a bit to face me, but he didn't say anything else.
"So how are you?" I asked, trying to make conversation since he wasn't bothering.
He sighed, "I've been better."
"Why? What's the matter?"
He leaned against the tree and then he looked at me, with sad blue eyes. He took a piece of my hair and twirled it lovingly.
"I'm getting married." He whispered.
My mouth dropped in disillusion, "But.... but...."
"I know.... my dad's forcing me to get married." He said that bitterly.
I tried to keep a happy face, but I suddenly felt the whole weight of the world crashing by.
"Wha.... what.... what do you mean married?"
His eyes were full of sorrow even though his face seemed so angry. "Married, Anne. When a man and a women pledge their love together for the rest of their lives... he's forcing me to marry one of the Wood's."
I squinted, "The Wood's?"
He nodded his head, "The owner of one of the biggest plantations around here. He has two girls, Mary Beth and Melinda Rose. Mary Beth is fourteen and Melinda Rose is eighteen... I don't want to do this, but he says I don't have a choice." He sounded like he was ready to kill someone, but then he softened his voice, "But there is one thing..."
"Like what?"
"We can leave, Anne." He reached for my hand, "We can runaway and start a new life. Go up to one of the northern states. I heard in Canada, they let blacks and whites get married. I think its a rumor, but it wouldn't hurt to find out."
He looked so eager, so pure at the thought of us too leaving. I looked around at the slaves who were working. They looked tired, angry, bored, like they would rather be somewhere else. Then I looked back at Jake.
"We can't." I whispered.
He suddenly looked heartbroken, but then he covered it up with his anger, "Fine. Then I'll leave. I'll be somewhere in New York or Pennsylvania. You can find me there."
He began to walk off, but I pulled him back to me, "Jake... you can't leave. He have to be here, what if something happens to your dad? Who will take care of the slaves?"
He turned around, looking even more angry, "The slaves can take care of them God damn selves! They get to go around, jumping over brooms and at least die with the one they love.... and I'm stuck with...." he clenched his teeth, "I've seen those girls before Anne, and they're not like you. They're dumb, spoiled and useless. What the fuck am I supposed to do with them?"
I didn't answer, because I couldn't come up with one. I held my head down and closed my eyes tightly. I tried to close off everything in my mind so maybe if I'm clear enough, I can help him.
I could feel him coming over to me, he lifted my head up, "Open your eyes Anne."
I did as he said, and when I saw him he looked a little bit more nicer, "Don't hide from me... I need you right now."
"Kay..."
He removed his hand and then he just stared at me for a while, "What am I supposed to do Anne?"
I began to speak without thinking, "Just go with it."
He frowned, "Go with it?"
I nodded my head, "Maybe she's not that bad. See what happens, something good might come out of it."
He sighed a harsh sigh, "Go with it...." he murmured, "I'll...." Another sigh, "I'll try.... only for you." he quickly kissed me on the cheek and then looked up towards the sky, "You should go Anne."
"But... I just got here."
"I know. My dad wants you to come here early tomorrow. They... he..." This disgusted look appeared on his face, "He's bringing them over here tomorrow. Be here around seven."
I nodded my head, “Promise.” I touched his face softly, he looked so pained.
As I turned to leave, he pulled me over to him and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
“See you tomorrow.” he whispered.
I smiled as he let me go. I could see the unwillingness in his eyes. I slowly walked away, still facing towards him. Then I saw some slaves eyeing us and I quickly turned around and walked away.
I fast walked home, it was dark and the night was alive. Crickets chirping filled the air as it was crisp and cool on my skin.
I wondered if the slaves had this kind of freedom. This kind of exhilaration.
I passed through town unseen, and then I quickly, but quietly ran through the forest and opened the cabin to home.
My mother was ling down on a cot, but I didn’t have the feeling she was entirely asleep.
I began to unbutton my shirt when her voice disturbed me, “I don’t want you working at that plantation.” I heard her say.
I was shocked at how she knew, but I had a feeling it was only a matter of time.
“What… what do you mean?” my voice was shaky.
“You heard me Anna Marie. Don’t go back there.”
I should listen to her, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to be away from Jake.
I want to be with him… but he’s getting married… but he doesn’t want to be married…
I wanted to protest, but I knew it’d be no used. I just put on my gown and went over to my cot.
Another sleepless night with fate to keep me in place.

It was a bright sunny day. The air smelled like dust and the wind swayed with a alight rustle of leaves. I felt as young as the day as I stopped at the plantation, not sure where to go from there. It was daylight and I felt naked as I saw a bunch of people going in and out of the house. They couldn’t see me, they were too busy talking amongst themselves and moving a lot of furniture in.
I looked over and I saw Jake standing opposite of the house, angrily watching the people moving things in. He looked handsome as usual. His black was a it messy though, and he looked tired. I went over to him, his face lightened up just a bit.
“You’re right on time.” He said bitterly. “Daddy says we’re going to be a big happy family now.”
I frowned, “What do you mean?”
He sighed, “She’s moving in. That’s all her shit right there.”
I scanned the people to see anyone who’d look like they were worthy of being his fiancée.
All I saw were a bunch of white men laughing and shooting the annual breeze.
“Who?”
Then I saw her before he pointed it out. She stepped out of a wagon up the road a bit. She had on a pretty pink dress and had long blonde curly hair and a lip-stick smile to go with it.
She had this kind of sassy walk and next to her was Jake’s dad.
I could hear Jake mutter something underneath his breath.
“I hate her.” he whispered.
“Why?”
He turned to me, his eyes glistened with rage, “Because she’s everything you’re not.”
Before I can respond, they come over to us, her grin stretching.
“Ooh… I got me a pretty boy!” She said happily. Then the it turned to anger when she saw me. “You must be the nigger who don’t know shit. Go help my brothers move the rest of things.”
“Don’t talk to her like that!” Jake snapped.
She looked instantly shocked, but Charles was trying to repress his anger.
“Boy… this is Melinda Rose… she’s yours from now on… treat her right.” He took a long, hard look at me, then he walked off.
Jake glared at Melinda Rose until she walked away, parting with an angry glance at me.
“Are you sure you don’t want to leave?” Jake asked quietly.
I nodded my head, “Things can’t get any worse from here, right?”
He gave me this look that meant the complete opposite. "You know why he's doing this, right?" I shook my head, feeling the heat of the sun. He gave me an obvious look and then he just smiled when I didn't get it.
I looked back over at the front of the plantation, I could see Melinda Rose leaning on the house, glaring at my direction.
And then she mouthed the words, “War.”