I Want To Live For Love
Seventy-Three
I got up numbly from beside of Gerard and handed him Audrey. "I'll be right back."
He didn't say his words of disapproval. He nodded and let me go. I wish he would've said something along the lines that it wasn't a good idea going back to see what Skai was up to. But deep inside, I knew what she had done. I just needed to see to believe.
I walked back to the hallway and stopped seeing her body resting against the wall. Her head was hanging limply and her body was lifeless. I let the tears fall as I sank down in front of her, staring at the silver stake.
We're all dying, I thought miserably, if not by the illness, then by our own doings.
I wonder if I would do the same thing if I were in her position without my children. Would I have killed myself to be with Gerard and to end the knowledge of pain that was on it's way to me? Yes, and I wouldn't hesitate.
I touched her hand before rising from the floor. We had all given up on trying to find a new hope. I walked back in the room with my head down low and my shoulders shaking. There was nothing left to do.
Arms wrapped around me as I stopped dead in my place, unable to continue any further into the room. I started coughing and I felt Gerard stiffen. "Kayla," he said with fear in his voice.
I knew what he was frightened of. I could smell my own blood when I had coughed. I was sick now. I let the tears roll silently down my cheeks as I hid my face into Gerard's chest, now stained with my blood.
I pulled away and walked back over to Audrey, who only had so little time left. I picked her back up into my arms and held her, in fear of not getting to say goodbye like Tonya. I held her as she coughed, her face twisting up in pain. I kissed her forehead and she opened her eyes to stare at me. "I love you Audrey," I whispered.
"Mommy," she barely said, before going into a fit of coughs. "I love you too."
Before we could say anything more, her eyes slowly fell shut and her slow breathing stopped all together. I felt the lump growing my throat as I hugged her small frame to my body.
Gerard bent down and scooped her up into his arms and went to lay her down with Tonya. I swallowed and stared around me. Pete was barely there while Patrick was following very close behind Audrey. I looked over and saw that Gerard was with Mikey now, talking to him. I noticed that Mikey wasn't talking back. Then I saw why as Gerard's eyes shut and let his tears fall onto his brother's lifeless body.
"God damnit!" I heard Pete cry. I turned my head in his direction to see Patrick was also no longer alive.
William was resting against the back of the couch, or so it appeared. Taking a closer look, he wasn't breathing. Gerard slowly walked back over to me sank to the floor beside of me. I positioned myself in his lap resting against his chest. He kissed my head as I closed my eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too," I murmured, as his hands intertwined with mine clasping together on top of my stomach. His breathing was slowing and that was sending alarms off in my brain. I ignored the ache in my heart as I tried to relax.
After ten minutes had passed, I felt weaker with burning pain in my chest. "Gerard, it's getting worse." I said, groaning.
Gerard didn't reply. It dawned on me that Gerard was dead. I didn't dare to turn around. I just knew for his breathing had stopped. I just sat there, tears streaking my face.
I let out another groan as pain stabbed at my chest. I love you Gerard Way, not any other person, just you. And I pray, that when this is all over with and we're dead, that we're together. We didn't say good-bye cause we are determined to find each other and to be together so that there is no end of our love.
I let my eyes close, feeling more empty by the second. So, this is what death feels like. I had wished for this for so long, and here it finally finds me, when I don't want it any longer. Ironic. When you want something, you can't have it, when you don't want it, it bestows itself to you.
Andy's P.O.V
I watched my friends die on the bus. I knew that there was no hope for them. There was nothing I could do to help save them. Sadly, I knew they were going to die. But there's always new beginnings.
I sighed, seeing Pete, as the last one to die from the illness. First one to get sick last to fall.
I thought they did pretty well in trying to survive. But I knew all of them were going to die in the end. I just couldn't bring myself to tell them. How could I? But again, there's always a new beginning.
So, I ate my chapter. I think I could've ended it better but I really couldn't do it all in Andy's P.O.V like we were going to intend on doing so.
Sequel should be up tonight.
I think the title might be "You make me feel so alive."
xoxoxo
Kayla
He didn't say his words of disapproval. He nodded and let me go. I wish he would've said something along the lines that it wasn't a good idea going back to see what Skai was up to. But deep inside, I knew what she had done. I just needed to see to believe.
I walked back to the hallway and stopped seeing her body resting against the wall. Her head was hanging limply and her body was lifeless. I let the tears fall as I sank down in front of her, staring at the silver stake.
We're all dying, I thought miserably, if not by the illness, then by our own doings.
I wonder if I would do the same thing if I were in her position without my children. Would I have killed myself to be with Gerard and to end the knowledge of pain that was on it's way to me? Yes, and I wouldn't hesitate.
I touched her hand before rising from the floor. We had all given up on trying to find a new hope. I walked back in the room with my head down low and my shoulders shaking. There was nothing left to do.
Arms wrapped around me as I stopped dead in my place, unable to continue any further into the room. I started coughing and I felt Gerard stiffen. "Kayla," he said with fear in his voice.
I knew what he was frightened of. I could smell my own blood when I had coughed. I was sick now. I let the tears roll silently down my cheeks as I hid my face into Gerard's chest, now stained with my blood.
I pulled away and walked back over to Audrey, who only had so little time left. I picked her back up into my arms and held her, in fear of not getting to say goodbye like Tonya. I held her as she coughed, her face twisting up in pain. I kissed her forehead and she opened her eyes to stare at me. "I love you Audrey," I whispered.
"Mommy," she barely said, before going into a fit of coughs. "I love you too."
Before we could say anything more, her eyes slowly fell shut and her slow breathing stopped all together. I felt the lump growing my throat as I hugged her small frame to my body.
Gerard bent down and scooped her up into his arms and went to lay her down with Tonya. I swallowed and stared around me. Pete was barely there while Patrick was following very close behind Audrey. I looked over and saw that Gerard was with Mikey now, talking to him. I noticed that Mikey wasn't talking back. Then I saw why as Gerard's eyes shut and let his tears fall onto his brother's lifeless body.
"God damnit!" I heard Pete cry. I turned my head in his direction to see Patrick was also no longer alive.
William was resting against the back of the couch, or so it appeared. Taking a closer look, he wasn't breathing. Gerard slowly walked back over to me sank to the floor beside of me. I positioned myself in his lap resting against his chest. He kissed my head as I closed my eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too," I murmured, as his hands intertwined with mine clasping together on top of my stomach. His breathing was slowing and that was sending alarms off in my brain. I ignored the ache in my heart as I tried to relax.
After ten minutes had passed, I felt weaker with burning pain in my chest. "Gerard, it's getting worse." I said, groaning.
Gerard didn't reply. It dawned on me that Gerard was dead. I didn't dare to turn around. I just knew for his breathing had stopped. I just sat there, tears streaking my face.
I let out another groan as pain stabbed at my chest. I love you Gerard Way, not any other person, just you. And I pray, that when this is all over with and we're dead, that we're together. We didn't say good-bye cause we are determined to find each other and to be together so that there is no end of our love.
I let my eyes close, feeling more empty by the second. So, this is what death feels like. I had wished for this for so long, and here it finally finds me, when I don't want it any longer. Ironic. When you want something, you can't have it, when you don't want it, it bestows itself to you.
Andy's P.O.V
I watched my friends die on the bus. I knew that there was no hope for them. There was nothing I could do to help save them. Sadly, I knew they were going to die. But there's always new beginnings.
I sighed, seeing Pete, as the last one to die from the illness. First one to get sick last to fall.
I thought they did pretty well in trying to survive. But I knew all of them were going to die in the end. I just couldn't bring myself to tell them. How could I? But again, there's always a new beginning.
So, I ate my chapter. I think I could've ended it better but I really couldn't do it all in Andy's P.O.V like we were going to intend on doing so.
Sequel should be up tonight.
I think the title might be "You make me feel so alive."
xoxoxo
Kayla