The Pumpkin King

Linda glanced at both of her children straight in the eye. "I expect you two to be nice to the people at the store and not to cause any trouble. Okay?"

Mel and Frank nodded. "Yes, mom."

"I mean it; I want that pumpkin to come in one piece. Not only that, but you two better not come home covered in who knows what because-" Linda ranted.

"Mom! We're not ten. Not that I'm saying anything bad," Mel added quickly after catching her mother's stern look. "I mean, why do I have to get this talk. Frank's the one that gets US into trouble-"

"YOU'RE the one who gives me ideas!" Frank countered.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the stupid one that goes off to do them, am I?"

"I'm not stupid!" Frankie whined.

"Melissa! Stop calling your brother stupid. Frank! Stop whining."

Frank and Mel looked at the ground and muttered their apologies. Once Linda's lecture was over, both headed out to the door with coats and keys in hand. When they reached the car Frank and Mel's hand reached to the driver's door.

"What are you doing?" Frank asked while staring at his sister.

"I'm driving," Mel stated.

"It's my car."

"So? I have the keys."

"But it's MY car."

"But I'M taller."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Frank narrowed his eyes after asking.

"It means that I can see the road better," Mel smirked.

"You know, I can always tell Gerard about your obsession," the smirk on Mel's face had left and made Frank its new host.

"Fine," Mel muttered and handed the keys to her dumbass of a brother.

After many arguments of what radio station to listen to and criticizing each other's driving abilities, the two had made it to the nearest store, but neither of them got out of the car.

"This is practically a suicide mission, isn't?" Frank asked with wide eyes as he saw the many people in the store.

Mel sighed and nodded. "It's Thanksgiving and all the last-minute shoppers are here. Expect some aggressiveness in there."

"Why are we here again?"

"To get the pumpkin."

".....Why?"

"For mom's pumpkin pie."

"Oh..."

Mel reached into her coat pocket and pulled out two shiny objects.

Frankie raised his eyebrow. "What the hell?"

"They're whistles," Mel handed one to the pansy Frank.

"Why do we need whistles?"

"Like I said, expect some aggressiveness. If there happens to be a time where it gets a little too rough, blow the whistle and we'll find each other," Mel explained place the chain that held the whistle around her neck.

"Smart."

"I know," Mel glanced at the store then at Frank. "Let's rock this bitch."

Frank and Mel got out of the car and walked towards the entrance of the grocery store. The scene inside was chaotic; procrastinators were running around trying to gather all necessities needed for the Thanksgiving dinner. These people were the careless, aggressive ones. Frank and Mel split up and went off to search for an available pumpkin.

As Frank was walking around the store, he caught a glimpse of something orange. Abruptly stopping, Frank turned and found what he was looking for. Sitting in a lonely, clothed stand was the pumpkin. Frank quickly made his way to his prize. Right when his hands made contact with the smooth surface, a pair of wrinkled hands landed at the same time.

"I SAW IT FIRST, BI-" Frank stop short due to the fact that his "enemy" was around sixty years old.

"Excuse me?" the female senior asked, appalled.

Frank let out a nervous laugh before tugging the pumpkin towards his direction. "I'm sorry ma'am, but I, uh, saw the pumpkin first."

The old woman narrowed her eyes. "Now listen to me, son. I may be old, but I am not stupid. I got this pumpkin first and that's final."

Frank stared at the old woman in shock then glared daggers as she pulled the pumpkin to her. "Not in my book, old hag," Frankie tore the pumpkin from the old woman's grasp and ran for it.

Unfortunately for Frank, the old woman was in an electric wheelchair and had a cane.

BAM!

Mel walked down the aisle, looking at the almost empty counters. To put it this way, Mel didn't have the strongest attention span in the world. She had gotten distracted from her pumpkin hunting when she passed the aisle with the cookies, but a loud, sharp noise got her mind back on track.

Frankie... she thought as she quickly rushed to the sound.

Frank kept blowing the whistle while the old bitch hag, as he referred the old woman, kept smacking him (making sure to avoid the pumpkin) with her cane. The other shoppers were either busy with what they needed to get or watching this amusing scene play out. Bastards, right?

Mel slid to a stop and saw her brother getting harassed. Though, she knew Frank provoked this upon himself. Being the wonderful sister that she is, Mel giggled, but stopped when she saw the reason why Frank was getting the shit beaten up.

"MAKE HER STOP!!!" Frank yelled, helplessly blocking the cane from making contact with his face.

"Hold on!" Mel responded and quickly swiped the surprisingly undamaged pumpkin and ran to an open cashier lane.

"What the hell?!" Frank stared after Mel.

WHAM!

Frank yelped and held the side of his torso. "MOTHER FU-" Frank grabbed the cane as the old woman made another strike and threw it, making some people duck. He then stood, kicked the old woman's electrical wheelchair, and ran out of the store and to the car.

Mel opened the back car door and carefully placed the pumpkin in the center and went to the passenger seat in the front. Frank started the car and silently drove home.

"So.....you got your ass kicked, eh?" Mel asked with a grin.

"Fuck off," Frank muttered and stopped the car in front of their mother's house.

"At least the pumpkin's alright."

"WHAT ABOUT ME?!"

Mel stared at Frank. "Why are you so superficial, Frankie? God.." With that she got out of the car and opened the back car door again.

"I GOT MY ASS KICKED BY AN OLD LADY, THAT'S WHY!"

Laughter erupted from behind Mel. "You what?!"

Frank blinked and looked behind her and saw Gerard and Mikey laughing. Whilst Mel giggled softly at her brother's embarrassment, Frank narrowed his eyes. He wasn't going to be the only embarrassed Iero.

"GERARD! MEL IS OBSESSED WITH YOU!!!" Frank yelled then smirked proudly at Mel.

Mel froze with a horrified expression then slowly gazed at Frank. "Frank Anthony Iero..." she growled out.

Frank got out the car and ran into the house to get away from his angry sister. Mel soon followed his path.

"Did you two get what I asked for?"

"It's in the car!" Mel exclaimed as she passed Linda.

"It's right here, Linda." Gerard said, carrying the pumpkin.

"Thank you. Why can't they be more like you two?" Linda asked with a teasing look in her eyes.

Gerard chuckled and passed the pumpkin to Linda. Linda would have had it in her arms if it weren't for Frank running by and bumping into Mikey when he ran out the door. Seeing as Mikey wasn't expecting Frank, he bumped into Gerard and caused Gerard to drop the pumpkin. The pumpkin smashed into pieces and Frank froze in place as soon as he heard a loud spat.

"Where'd Frank-" Mel started walking towards Linda and the Way brothers, but then her eyes grew wide as she fell back and groaned after landing on the wet, sticky remains of the pumpkin.

Frank couldn't take it anymore. He let out his laughter echo throughout the neighborhood.

"Do I get the pie now?" Mikey asked after a few moments had passed.

Gerard nodded.

Linda looked at Gerard and Mikey then at Frank and Mel. "Why can't you two be more like them?"

Frank stopped laughing. "Hey!"

Mel looked up at her mother and grinned sheepishly. "We make things more interesting?"

Linda shook her head. "Indeed you do."